Thursday, 16 June 2011

An important message

It is with great humility that we are able to present to you possibly the most important filmed document of our time, of your time, of all time, of time that hasn't happened yet, you know, future time, the sort Dr Who is into.

Yes, there was the notorious Zapruder film, that shocking piece of silent home movie footage that captured the moment Kennedy, the prince of all our hearts, got that firework stuffed up his harris on Bonfire Night, 1963. A nation still mourns.

There was also the alien abduction film, captured accidentally by Fluffy when he sat on his person's iPhone and recorded the moment an alien spaceship landed in the garden and beamed up Fluffy's person using some kind of, I don't know, tractor beam or something. This astonishing footage proved beyond refute the existence of intelligent lifeforms outside of BigTown. Unfortunately, Fluffy then started to bat the iPhone around, thinking it was a mouse or a rabbit or a spider and he knocked it into the fish pond and it got all fucked up and doesn't work anymore.

But this film outstrips them all. Watch, and be awed.

Tuesday, 14 June 2011

Lesbain Cat Blogger

Dave, Pussy's lesbain blogger: A real lesbain.
I'd like to hand over to Dave, our lesbain blogger, to make some observations and assurances in the wake of the revelations about something to do with lesbains or something that happened earlier today. Dave…

Hullo readers. I would just like to make it clear that I, Dave, am indeed a real lesbain, and not a fake lesbain pretending to be a lesbain in order to get other lesbains to follow the blog, OK? All us lesbains feel very let down by the fake lesbain blogger, and the other fake lesbain blogger, both of whom were from Other Town, which is just the sort of place where this kind of lesbain trickery happens A LOT because they're all like totally bad and not lesbains. We are lesbains. And so is Frank.

Thank you.