Sunday, 10 July 2011

Shit Magazine Dies a Death - Good Riddance!

Bitch Magazine: 168 Years of dog-related investigative journalism down the shitter
Thanks to the tireless efforts of our very own investigative journalist Fluffy, today the last issue of the scurrilous rag Bitch hits the newsstands. It was their own fault, but it was Pussy what done it. Had it not been for our campaign of hatred decency in the face of intimidation, Big Town would never have discovered the awful truth that is at the heart of all dog-related matters around these parts.

For example, we discovered that Bitch was
• A stupid dog-related cash-in on the success of Pussy that sold only a THIRD of what Pussy did.
• Slightly funnier that Pussy, but because it was aimed at dogs and their people, who have no sense of humour about these things because they THINK THAT DOGS ARE ACTUALLY A PART OF THEIR FAMILY, it didn't sell that well.
• Mostly about poo

Now it is gone, Big Town is a better place. The current staff paid for the sins of their fathers. And their fathers' fathers. And their grans. But let's face it, it was shit.

And now everyone can pretend THEY NEVER READ IT OR BELIEVED A WORD OF IT.

 But it's not over, oh no. What we want to know is

• What about THE CHILDREN?
• And THE POLICE? Yeah, them. Where were they, eh? DOWN THE PUB? WITH ASYLUM SEEKERS?

And another thing… oh actually I can't keep it up. I'm confused and sleepy.

No comments:

Post a Comment