Food - Parrots: Should We?

Parrot - delicious and repulsive

CELEBRITY COOKING WITH HESTER

It's a great honour to be asked to contribute to the Pussy Blog with some of my insights into cuisine. (Get on with it, you preening, self-regarding nobhead - Ed) I have traveled all over Big Town, sampling the delights of local foods produced by local growers locally with local ingredients all sourced locally. But recently, I ventured to Far East, aka Other Town, where I found some extraordinary and exciting new approaches to eating. The first dish I explored on my exploration of exploratory new eating experiences was Parrot. It was a delight, and is a cinch to create this signature dish in just twelve minutes. Here is the recipe:

PARROT
• 1: Kill a parrot. Rip its face off and munch its spindly little legs until they crack and splinter. Spit them out, they're horrible.
• 2: Kick it around in the air for a few minutes.
• 3: Leave it off to one side for about six minutes, sitting near it with your tail swishing back and forth.
• 4: Pounce on it and kick its liver out through its nose.
• 5: Bite its head off.
• 6: And its fucking wings.

And there you have it. One delicious parrot dish to impress your friends at your next dinner party. Serve with some dust that's got all mushed up with the seeping blood and a few bits of grit, and you will really give your guests a taste of something exotic.

Bon appetit!