StikkiLeaks Revelation! OM and literally G!

StikkiLeaks revelation: 'Twat' and 'fucking anus'

Diplomatic relations with Other Town are probably in tatters this morning as fresh revelations from the StikkiLeaks bin bag are made here, in a minute. A high level memo from Basher, that one-eyed ginger thug who is security adviser to Tyrant, the de facto president of Other Town on account of his massive fish shop leftovers monopoly, seems to be a direct attack on Softy, Big Town's Minister for Foreign Affairs and Purring. It's a devastating blow to Big Town/Other Town relations as it's revealed that Other Town is full of bastards and gits who were horrible to Softy.

Full contents of memo after the jump (that's clever blog speak which means click where it says Read More, you halfwit), with the redacted content reinstated by our forensic team of highly trained specialists who looked at it for a few minutes and said 'I reckon that probably says 'anus'…

7592-9584 949-59-IRR

FISNP0JO 894045 `IRJ0J9RR5O

OTHER TOWN

MEMO: DEPARTMENT OF SECURITY

ATTN OF: TYRANT

FROM; BASHER

TOP SECRET

RE; RECENT MEETING WITH BIG TOWN’S MINISTER OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS AND PURRING, SOFTY

• BIG TOWN FEELS FISH SHOP MONOPOLY IS ‘UNFAIR’ AND WILL SEEK LEGAL RULING ON OPENING UP LEFTOVERS MARKET TO INTERNATIONAL COMPETITION

IN AN ILL-TEMPERED EXCHANGE, I TOLD SOFTY HE COULD STICK HIS REQUESTS FOR OPENING UP THE THE FISH SHOP LEFTOVERS MARKETPLACE UP HIS FUCKING ANUS, THE LTTLE GOBSHITE. HE SAID, ‘OI, DON’T FUCKING TALK TO ME LIKE THAT OR I’LL DO YOU’ AND I SAID ‘OH YEAH, YOU AND WHO’S ARMY, YOU LITTLE FUCKTARD’ AND HE GOES ‘ME AND GIBLETS AND HORACE, AND HORACE IS TOTALLY FUCKING MAD SO YOU BETTER WATCH IT’ AND I WAS LIKE ALL ‘OOOH! I’M REALLY SCARED’ AND HE WAS LIKE YEAH YOU FUCKING SHOULD BE.’

THE HE HAD A LITTLE SNOOZE. THEN I FELL ASLEEP TOO. AND WE SORT OF SAT THERE FOR WHILE ALL ASLEEP, BUT KEEPING A SNEAKY EYE OUT JUST IN CASE HE TRIED IT ON AND RUSHED ME AND BIFFED ME AROUND THE EARS WHEN WAS PROPERLY ASLEEP RATHER THAN JUST CATNAPPING. BUT HE DIDN’T. SO FUCKING BIFFED HIM INSTEAD AND THEN WE WERE FIGHTING AND GOT HIM ROUND THE HEAD AND KICKED HIM LIKE BILLYO BUT THEN HE SORT OF WRIGGLED LIKE A MAD FUCKER AND GOT AWAY AND RAN UP ONTO THE WALL OUTSIDE THE HAIRDRESSERS AND SAT UP THERE WITH HIS TAIL WAGGING BELOW HIM LIKE A PENDULUM ON A GRANDFATHER CLOCK, WITH HIS EARS FLAT ON HIS HEAD AND HIS EYES ALL BIG LIKE SAUCERS MAKING THIS LOW SORT OF YOWLING SOUND.

SO I CIRCLED AROUND HIM REALLY SLOWLY, BUT THEN NOTHING HAPPENED AND IT WAS REALLY HOT AND SUNNY SO FELL ASLEEP IN THE FLOWERPOT WITH THE BINBAG IN THE BOTTOM WITH ALL DEAD SNAIL IN IT.