Racism controversy in Big Town

Pawkins off of our cutting edge satellite telly internet live link

We have a report just coming through that there has been an incident in Big Town near the library, and there may be a racial dimension to the trouble. Our Home Affairs correspondent is there, on the scene, with his satellite phone what we got off eBay. We'll go straight over to him now, live, from near the library, where we believe there is an incident, with a racial dimension… near the library… live… incident… racism… possibly…

(Where is that fucktard Pawkins? I can't keep flanneling on like this forever, you know… - Ed)

Ah! Here he is now… Pawkins? Can you hear me?

Pawkins: Yes, yes, hello, Pawkins here… can you hear me?
Moggins:  Yes we can hear you… can you tell us what is happening there?
Pawkins: Hello? I can't quite… shall I tell you what is happening here?
Moggins: No. Tell us what you had for lunch, you fucking arsehole.
Pawkins: Really? OK, I had Whiskas tuna flavour…
Moggins: Seriously, where do we get these halfwits from? No. I don't care what you had for lunch. Do you think our masses of reader wants to know what you had for lunch?
Pawkins: I don't know… you said…
Moggins:  Oh for crying out loud. Just tell us what is happening.
Pawkins: Hello? Can you hear me?
Moggins: WHAT. IS. HAPPENING. YOU. FAT. TOOL?
Pawkins: You fat tool? Why is he saying that?
Moggins: Give me strength.
Pawkins: I think I'll just tell him what's happening…
Moggins: Oh, praise the lord.
Pawkins: Shocking scenes here down by the library where there has been some racism in an incident that police suspect might have a racial dimension when Eric saw Flaubert coming around the corner and Flaubert didn't see Eric and walked straight into Eric and hissed and spat and then Eric racisted him in the face.
Moggins: What?
Pawkins: Yeah, Eric racisted Flaubert in the face.
Moggins: Racist isn't a verb. You can't racist a cat.
Pawkins: What's a verb?
Moggins: It's doing word, Pawkins. Racist is a noun or an adjective. You can be a racist, or you can make a racist comment, it describes the noun. But you don't racist something.
Pawkins: That's right, Eric racisted Flaubert. In the face. Down by the library. It was well racist.
Moggins: In what sense was it racist?
Pawkins: Because of all the racism…
Moggins: You're an idiot. Switch the telly off. How much did that satellite phone telly internet thing cost? Was it a Buy It Now? We shouldn't have bothered. Seriously.